HOW TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM<\/strong><\/p>\n

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• Be active, not passive<\/strong>\u2028\u201cI\u2019m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0says comedian Carol Leifer. Despite what you might think, not implementing ABM or some other improvement may actually bring you more criticism than implementing it poorly. Character is developed through adversity, not when you\u2019re coasting. Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.<\/li>\n
• Speak the truth\u00a0<\/strong>\u2028False prophets are well spoken of because they don\u2019t speak the truth. Truth sometimes hurts and it often alienates, but it is still the truth and the right thing to do. A man is known by his enemies. There are some people that I want as my enemy! You may have some critics for all the right reasons. An Air Force pilot once told me that the closer you get to the target, the greater the flack.<\/li>\n
• Invite written criticism<\/strong>\u2028Verbal criticism is often full of holes, poorly thought out and oft invalid. Invite your critics to submit their recommendations in writing. Don\u2019t grieve over criticism pointed at you in unsigned letters. That\u2019s a waste of your time. Unsigned notes indicate one of two things: the critic either didn\u2019t have enough conviction to put their name to it or the sole intent was to hurt, not help you.<\/li>\n
• Look for grains of truth<\/strong>\u2028Repeated criticism can be a valid warning. If three people independently provide criticism on something you feel confident about, look for grains of truth in their comments. Engage your critics help by asking them three questions: (a) What\u2019s positive about this idea?; (b) What\u2019s interesting about it?; and, (c) What can I change to improve the idea? These responses turn a negative into a positive. Some times you won\u2019t find a grain of truth in criticism. Even when you have been \u201cfalsely accused\u201d, you can almost always find a \u201cwarning\u201d. Ask your critic,\u201cWhat are you afraid of?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0Even when criticism is invalid, sometimes their fear is sound.<\/li>\n
• Sort feelings from facts\u00a0<\/strong>\u2028I can\u2019t look up someone\u2019s feelings in a database to confirm their validity. If someone tells me,\u00a0\u201cI feel that ABM is not that good\u201d<\/em>, I won\u2019t change their mind with an argument that begins with\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re wrong!\u201d<\/em>Perceptions are factual. You have to deal with feelings when your business is all about perception. At ICMS we believe that perception is reality. We look for the drivers that cause people to feel as they do.<\/li>\n
• Look for role models<\/strong>\u2028How should we respond when criticized? We should look to replicate the actions of past or present role models. Look for people who have dealt with criticism effectively. Former Dallas Cowboy coach Tom Landry is one of my role models. He faced daily criticism during his 29 years as a NFL coach. Landry never lost his composure, maintained a firm commitment to excellence and never compromised his Christian faith. Who is your role model?<\/li>\n
• Use discernment<\/strong>\u2028Discernment is the ability to separate fact from fiction and the important from the trivial. To be able to discern the correct response to criticism requires wisdom. Wisdom that comes from study, experience and sometimes prayer. Develop a plan for handling criticism. Learn to get to the root cause of criticism, keeping your eyes on the big picture. A man once told me,\u00a0\u201cWhen you swim in the ocean, you get attacked by sharks and guppies. Don\u2019t worry about the guppies.\u201d<\/em>\u2028<\/em><\/li>\n
• Respond as a friend, not a foe<\/strong>\u2028Human nature is to repel or run from criticism. It\u2019s best to receive it and then deal with it. If criticism is misdirected, play the role as a friendly facilitator, e.g.\u00a0\u201cI am not the one you need to talk to, but I will help you make the connection you need.\u201d<\/em>\u2028<\/em><\/li>\n
• Have a sense of humor<\/strong>\u2028Humor helps diffuse destructive criticism and gracefully accept that which we need to apply. Charles Swindoll, in Laugh Again, says,\u00a0\u201cA good sense of humor enlivens our discernment and guards us from taking everything that comes down the pike too seriously. By remaining lighthearted, by refusing to allow our intensity to gain the mastery of our minds, we remain much more objective.\u201d<\/em>\u2028<\/em><\/li>\n
• Combine criticism with praise<\/strong>\u2028Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, died last week. She had a phenomenal positive impact on thousands of people during her lifetime. One of her most famous sayings was,\u00a0\u201cSandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise.\u201d<\/em>Her advice makes every criticism a positive event. If your business associate had ten things to do, eight of which were done to perfection, don\u2019t spend 80% of your time talking about the two things they did wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  I believe there is a fundamental need for every person to know that someone cares if we are good or bad. I remember staying up all night finishing a research paper for a college class. I handed it in Monday and got it back Wednesday with only a little pencil check next to my name. Clearly the teacher never bothered to read it; he just gave me credit for doing it. How did I feel? I felt cheated. Why knock myself out if nobody cares? Criticism given, whether negative or positive, means somebody cares.\u00a0Don\u2019t be discouraged by criticism. Instead be encouraged that you\u2019ve gained someone\u2019s attention with your words or actions.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Blessed is the man who can take bricks thrown at him and build a strong foundation. Sometimes I feel critics are like needles in a balloon factory, simply looking for an opportunity to \u201cpop\u201d my project, \u201cblow away\u201d new ideas or \u201cdeflate\u201d recent accomplishments. On the other hand, Norman Vincent Peale says,\u00a0\u201cThe trouble with most…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[131],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9781"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9781"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9781\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9782,"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9781\/revisions\/9782"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9781"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9781"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/icms.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9781"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}